E Plurubus Unum, Rex Montis

Saturday, June 24, 2006


Why do we wear ties? What kind of sick person thought up this cockamamie idea anyway?
What exactly are ties good for? They are just plain annoying no matter how you look at them! They are/will/continue to be
#1 Hot and uncomfortable in all weather
#2 Flap and annoy in the wind
#3 Choke and restrain you
#4 Look stupid
#5 Waste valuable time putting them on
#6 Just one more piece of clothing that I have to make sure “matches!”
#7 You must learn how to tie one! Whats up with that anyway!? And why are clip-ons a social taboo?
What are the positives? The inventor of ties should be taken out and hanged with his own plaid tie.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Singing in the

My squad was out on patrol today. We had the addition of Maddog to our truck today (Maddog is an interesting fellow, go to the link I have for him on the main page to really see the dog)
As anyone knows, maddog is quiet, but sometimes busts out "the voice." Today was no exception. We were discussing deep things, like lazers, and gamma rays, and partical beams, and negative and positive matter, and energy and so on and so forth. The pointless things we debate for the sake of listening to something besides the engine.

After we tired of talking, we started singing. He would think up a song that we both knew, and then me. We did this for a while, neither one of us remembering all the words to all the songs, but some of the words to some of the songs. We went from Billy Joal's "the piano man" to songs I don't know the name of but sang anyway. Then, we were singing "You've lost that loving feeling" I was just hitting the high notes and actually just screaming off key, when I noticed a wierd sound. In addition to the mellow dramatic voice I usually hear when I sing (me) I heard my own voice coming from somewhere else....what could it be?

I looked around and saw that my vehical leader had a shit eating grin spread accross his face. I looked at his hand and realized he was broadcasting my window breaking voice over the radio for all to enjoy!!! I stopped singing, and after much name calling, had the best laugh I've had in ages. The end

Thursday, June 15, 2006

just a little blood

The other day, we all assembled to brush up on our combat lifesaving techniques. This usually consists of tournaquites(sp?) trama bandages, treating for shock, blood loss, IV's etc. Well, this day was a day for IV training. It is always good to practice this. We don't get nearly enough opportunity for this, and it is a hard skill to master. One that is always good to practice.

So, we prep our bags of saline solution, our alcohol swabs and needles. Rubber straps are twisted around arms like so many junkies and we get to stabbing.

The process seems fairly simple; select a vein, pull skin tight to prevent vein from rolling and easier insertion of needle. Insert needle into skin at 35 degree angle. You will feel the needle pop/push through the vein, followed by a "flash" of blood in the flash chamber in the needle. Now you know your needle has entered the vein.

Now, lower needle to a 20-25 degree angle and advance the cathider (plastic sleeve over needle) into the vein to it's limit of advance (aprox 1-1 1/2 inch). Remove needle from cathider while holding cathider in vein. Release rubber strap and test blood flow. Attach hose from prepared bag of solution to wide end of cathider and start the bag flowing (tape for stability as needed).

There, in a nutshell. Well, not so easy sometimes. Shakey hands, tough skin, nerves, pain. All are factors in making this easy job...not so easy sometimes.

I have done this procedure many times. I get a little better every time even though sometimes I think I'm worse.

This time, I was getting stuck, and my skin was being tough. My partner was having quite the time getting the needle in the vein. He finally succeded and got the cathider advanced all the way. However, the needle had punctured out of my vein at the end, and it had to be removed when swelling under the skin occured.

As he took the needle out, a virtual river of blood burst from my arm and coverd the table, my partner, and my arm. I was like cool! Then, I started getting that buzzing feeling that comes shortly before a black out/faint. Uncool. I didn't feel good and felt like throwing up. My good friends brought a garbage over and cameras to record the momentous event of me losing my lunch. However, I did not faint, or yammy. No fun for anyone.

This just goes to show me that I'll never stop being supprised. Still trying to figure out just why the sight of one's own blood can do that to a person. I have heard of this happening before, but never experienced it myself until now.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Sun-tea VS Honey dew

My topics have been serious and slightly rougher than I would like so this post is dedicated to all the guys, and lightheartedness.
Just like last deployment, our rooms come with bathrooms. However, unlike last deployment, these bathrooms are constructed. They come in liter and 1.5 liter sizes. You see, these bathrooms are empty water bottles.
Explanation; for most, the latrine (bathroom, pisser, shitter) is a couple dozen meters away. In the middle of the night, a person is inclined to do one of two things:
#1 (short version)He can get up, walk down to the bathroom, do his business and come back.
(long version) Drag himself out of bed, loosen up comfortable muscles that have been sleeping, further wake up by walking down to the latrine, squinting in the bright light of the bathroom lights (or daylight if you are on night missions), do your business, then walk all the way back and climb back into bed, only to lay there for unknown amounts of time as you toss and turn in a futile attempt to regain that which is lost….sleep.
#2 (short version) piss in a bottle and fall right back asleep. (Long version) Piss in a bottle and fall right back to sleep.
See what I’m getting at here? Falling right back asleep is very important to a grunt.
Sun-tea; is the end result of one night of urinating in said bottle, to be thrown away when morning comes.
Honey dew; is the end result of multiple trips to the bottle over time, even days. The original amount of urine is allowed to sit and ferment. Then, it is added to. Again, sitting to ferment. The end result is a very yellow, very full bottle that only has to be taken out when you have filled aprox 3-6 bottles (in some cases more).
Now my fans you have more clear-cut understanding of a small piece of army life. Got you good you fuckers!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

B-Town Boys

so thirsty

So, there we were. On orders to sit on top of a hill, from can't see to can see (9pm-8am) simple mission of kill or capture enemy attempting to place roadside bombs.

Well, the simple mission turned into a long one. At 0930 when our extraction was an hour and a half late, we called up to ask "what give!?" they told us due to a mission change, we would be required to bake in the sun for an aditional 14 hours on top of the 10 we had already spent out there. This was awesome because we hadn't slept in 30 hours and had nothing to eat. That will teach us to trust our command. So now we had almost no water (because we had to carry everything out there, we only took enough for our shift)

So, we sat there and baked all day and into the night. We were able to get some more water from a passing patrol. It was wet, but hot. Still, hot water is better than no water.

I guess we learned some things, always plan for the unexpected and all that. I find more and more that the real enemy over here is my chain of command...

I got back to my can (room) some 30 hours after I left, thanked God for a shower and AC room and crashed for 12 hours....the end